How to Marry.

katyadvice, debt, weddingsLeave a Comment

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I was sent a press release yesterday. It was from a debt advisory centre which was interesting. Interesting, in that, I was quite impressed with their PR skills in finding an angle for a debt agency, possibly the least sexy sector of all services, that could be applied and marketed towards a sex & relationship blogger. 


Nevertheless, an angle they did find.

The subject they focused on was that of weddings. (Not quite as sexy as blow jobs but still tenuously related, credit to them.) Debt advice agents, weddings and sex blogs … my, what a menage a trois.

They supplied me with the following information. 

  • One in five people borrow to pay for their wedding.
  • One third are still repaying the debt.
  • Three quarters of brides and grooms aged 18 to 24 start married life in debt.

Far be it for me to criticise people choice to get married, but couples getting into debt to pay for a dress and a piss up for relatives they’ve never met before is a bit beyond my realms of comprehension.
Granted, I’m probably not the right person to comment on the subject, being a single woman of a certain age who would rather spend her money on Sauvignon Blanc and fags but come on people, aren’t we all taking this wedding thing a big too seriously?

I won’t deny enjoying a reason to buy a new outfit to hang out in a country manor with a free bar while I try drunkardly to snog strangers who I’ve never met before, but then I’m not the one getting into debt … more fun than drinking someone else’s money? drinking Barclays banks at 4.1% APR!

Sigh. 

Added to which, and this bit I love, why would you start your married life in debt when, according to basically anyone who has every investigated the relationships between money and divorce, claim that arguing over money is by far the top predictor of divorce. No shit Sherlock. Oh, the irony, you literally couldn’t make it up.

Weddings are bloody expensive, and when you’re shelling out seven grand for a venue and a grand for a cake, it’s little wonder people end up borrowing to do it. 

But here’s the thing, it’s only a day. Yes, it’s an important one, and a day you’ll only experience once (scoffs) but take a breath, and think about what’s important, being surrounded by people you love, having the time of your life in a dress you can afford in a place that hasn’t cost you the earth or re-mortgaging your house to pay for 24 hours that will be gone quicker than you can say ‘I do’ and 400 quid a month extra to find for the next 5 years.

It won’t surprise you to hear that the only thing I believe that is genuinely worth spending money on is the bar. Would I care if I went to a wedding and we had to make our own way from the church to the reception? Nope, not remotely. Would I care if I went to a wedding and the booze ran dry? Fuck yes. Listen up, happy couples, I’m more than prepared to be the token single chick catching the bouquet but make sure I’m tanked up before I do it. 

No, my suggestion would be this, by all means save for a wedding, scrape together the pennies, smile sweetly at rich relatives or start a JustGiving page claiming you are raising money for the RNIB when, really, you plan to spend it on sugared almonds and peonies, but to borrow for the big day? Utter madness. 

Weddings should be about fun and happiness (ain’t love grand!)  not meetings with bank managers to figure out ways you can push yourself beyond your means just to keep the Jones’s happy. 
Ideally, I would suggests saying bollocks to a traditional wedding, buying two tickets to somewhere hot, grabbing a white bikini and two strangers as witnesses, to say ‘I do’ on a beach, costing a fraction of the price but leaving  you with equally as cherished memories. 

Either that or marry someone old, ugly and fucking loaded.  Debt advice service? … there you have it, problem solved. 

katyHow to Marry.

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