I am thrilled to welcome, to my blog, Uncle Monty, ‘Twitters first genuine BDSM celebrity’ here to share his thoughts with us on the rise in popularity of BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Sadism and Masochism) in mainstream culture. Yes, it’s 50 shades *again*, but not as you know it …
Many people have asked whether the main, suave character in a suit that charms his way through the 50 Shades trilogy is based on the legendary Uncle. Clearly modesty and a law suit will not permit me to say (hearing in Royal Courts of Justice booked for April 2037) however I do think that I should take this wonderful opportunity to give my definitive view on the most important thing to happen to kink since the accidental invention of the ball gag at the 1927 Wimbledon Women’s Doubles Final.
As a Dom for many many years (and a former classmate of the Marquis de Sade…. great at Latin, rubbish at woodwork), it does distress me that suddenly there are 50 Shades merchandising spin offs (Halloween had the horror of a fancy dress Dom and sub T shirt!!) and more worryingly the rise of the wannabe Mr Greys. Now any slightly balding bully can don a suit from Top Shop and hey presto, he is not a nasty little shit who hates women… he’s a Dom!!. Uncle takes his kink very, very seriously (though clearly with more than a hint of jelly based fun) and for me a Dom/Sub relationship is a very pure passion, a meeting very much of equals and a cerebral as much as a physical thing.
Mr Greys are everywhere and there are many of us older (but distinguished!) Doms who feel the species has become more than a little diluted thanks to books such as %) Shades of Grey.
50 Shades fever has been a very convenient place for the popular press to hang their sexual hat (got a little carried away with the metaphors there). Recently The Sun said that 50 Shades was the reason for the rise in STD’s in the over 60′s, Well, if it encourages grey fucking (and clearly some people will need a good ironing first!) then it is commendable… but frankly that has absolutely nothing to do with BDSM.
50 Shades has allowed the general public to look at kink with slightly less fear and that is good. There have been some commendable pieces about how BDSM is not all scary dungeons and judges in stockings in suspenders (although, yes, clearly it is too!).
However, the great shame with 50 Shades and, more worrying than the rise of the Mr Greys, is that although it is, at best, a bit of mild kink titillation, at heart the story is more about domestic violence, power and non-consensual using. That’s a shame, because in my view there is nothing more beautiful or more passionate than a building, consensual D/s relationship.
Follow Uncle Monty on twitter @UncleMontySpank
Or check out his fantastic (and really rather sexy) blog over at http://unclemontyspanks.tumblr.com/